Fear of emptiness, fear of change

The next time you are overcome with a feeling of emptiness, pause and reflect. Ask yourself if you are actually at a crossroads. You are probably not aware of the choice that is before you, but your subconscious is. Quite likely no one has asked you to make a choice and you were not even thinking in terms of options. But you feel somehow empty, like you are losing your hold on… something.

The void you sense is the widening gulf between where you are now and where part of you is dreaming, needing to go, or already going. This does not necessarily mean that the new path is the right one, but it does mean that there is a choice that you were unaware of, or that you have been avoiding. The choice may be to do something new, or it may be to leave something old behind.

Divided by fear

Even as you continue along your current path, a part of you stays behind to hold open the door to this unexamined choice. You are divided and therefore not fully present in your interactions with others; they do not see your authentic self. You are holding a part of yourself back and thus unable to act with your full energy.

You fear the emptiness, for it represents change. It calls the familiar into question and speaks of unpredictable consequences. You know your current path and have become accustomed to it, whether you like it or not. You feel compelled to carry on.

In this way the attraction of change is balanced by a desire to cling to the familiar. This balance helps you to maintain continuity in your life. It allows you to nurture your well-being as well as that of your family and friends over longer periods of time. But balance is something we seek even as we are moving. It is not passive.

Drained by unmade choices

The usual reaction to fear is to avoid it. So you turn away from the emptiness as though the present path is more certain than any other. You may avoid the emptiness with great energy to show yourself and those around you that you are decisive and full of action. You feel justified when you achieve outward signs of success or acceptance. Yet the emptiness returns in quiet moments.

You feel you have made a choice when in actual fact all you have chosen is to avoid the issue. This passiveness requires great energy as the choice unmade continues to drain your life-force by sending doubt to accompany you. You must spend ever greater energy to bury it again and again.

Fully present and engaged

On the other hand, choices made have energy in them. They propel you forward in all your uniqueness. Your full presence gives energy to others and allows them to engage with your authentic self, energizing you further. Whichever path you choose, you are choosing to be whole, to not lose a part of yourself in a life not lived.

When you avoid the emptiness, you are really avoiding your fear of it. But fear is not the problem; fear is a valuable signal that action is required. And the action in this case is simply reflection. When you sit with the emptiness, listen to the echoes, you will be able to find that part of you that is waiting for a decision.

You need to become aware of the door still being held open and choose to go through to new opportunities. Or close it and move on. In either case you will have reunited your self. You and your life-force will be fully present.

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Have you ever tried to stay with the emptiness to learn from it? Share your experience here.

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